<!DOCTYPE html>
<html>
<head>
<meta charset="UTF-8">
<title>Locked Desires by Excaliburstark</title>
<style type="text/css">

body { background-color: #ffffff; }
.CI {
text-align:center;
margin-top:0px;
margin-bottom:0px;
padding:0px;
}
.center   {text-align: center;}
.cover    {text-align: center;}
.full     {width: 100%; }
.quarter  {width: 25%; }
.smcap    {font-variant: small-caps;}
.u        {text-decoration: underline;}
.bold     {font-weight: bold;}
</style>
</head>
<body>
<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/24074401">Locked Desires</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/Excaliburstark/pseuds/Excaliburstark'>Excaliburstark</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Merlin (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Attempt at Humor, Fluff, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Major UST, Pining, Snogging, Verging on crack if I'm honest, idiots being idiots</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2020-05-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2020-05-12</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-02 20:27:27</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>3,040</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/24074401</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/Excaliburstark/pseuds/Excaliburstark</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>5 times Merlin resisted flinging himself at Arthur + 1 time Arthur couldn't resist Merlin  </p><p>I'm shocked this is the first 5+1 fic I've actually ever written. Enjoy x</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Merlin/Arthur Pendragon (Merlin)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>368</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Collections:</b></td><td>Scruffy Pendragon Fest</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Locked Desires</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>Get ready to be... disappointed *finger guns*</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>1</p><p>A sequence of unfortunate events had left Camelot in a low mood, particularly Arthur. The death of his father, Gwen's banishment, Agravaine's betrayal and Morgana's attempts to take over had impacted Arthur deeply. His behavior was similar to Uther's at one point, he would stare vacantly at things and forget to eat. Merlin supported him and coaxed him out of his slump. Arthur had improved slowly, bit by bit returning back to his former self, but it was clear he was still suffering.</p><p>It wasn't just his demeanor that had changed, Arthur's appearence had changed too. His grief had engulfed his every thought and left none to spare on such trivial things as personal hygiene. A beard was thickening on Arthur's lower face, a dark blonde stubble curved around his cheek, and his hair had grown. It fell just below his ears and curled around the nape of his neck. </p><p>Merlin's hair had also grown- An unfortunate haircut a few years ago had everyone making teasing comments about his ears and Merlin had resolved to grow it out. It twisted around the tops of his ears now, though his hair still wasn't as long as Arthur's. </p><p>A scuffle in Gaius' chamber had Merlin sitting up, one leg half out of the bed, a hand hovering over the covers as he debated whether he was needed. A knock on his door sounded and a guard came in. He told Merlin that the king was not in his chambers and had come to see if Merlin knew where he was. </p><p>Merlin did not. Time passed by and Arthur remained missing. A search was called for. </p><p>It was Merlin that found him. Arthur had been walking around the halls, rumpled hair askew and swept to one side. </p><p>It wasn't the first time this has happened, Arthur had been at the tavern again and drank so much that he'd gotten lost in his own castle on his way back to his chambers. Mead had made Arthur shy and hesitant, his nerves had been affected by the recent ordeal and drinking seemed to enhance rather than reverse these new found characteristics. Arthur shuffled forwards, to inquire to the guards where his room was, luckily Merlin intervened. </p><p>Merlin called off the search, leading an addled Arthur back to bed. </p><p>Arthur had been sleepy and puzzled. He had rubbed his eyes and leant heavily on Merlin. Merlin had gripped Arthur's arm as they wobbled back to Arthur's chambers. Arthur was nuzzling Merlin's neck and making soft noises that had made Merlin chant in his head <em>He's drunk He's drunk He's drunk.</em></p><p>Merlin carefully tucked the covers around him. Arthur yanked Merlin, so hard that it forced him half over the bed on top of Arthur who grumbled happily. "Thanks Merlin." He had mumbled softly and let go. </p><p>Arthur fell asleep almost immediately. His face looked soft and peaceful. Merlin wanted to stretch his hands out to comb through Arthur's long hair which flopped over his face. He wanted to give a lingering goodnight kiss and stroke Arthur's cheek before leaving. Instead he snuffed the candles and quietly shut the door behind him. </p><p>He didn't wake the king the following morning. Arthur had snapped at him for it but they both knew he was grateful for the extra rest.</p><p> </p><p>2 </p><p>After some protesting and back and forth, Arthur finally relented. Merlin was to shave the scruff that was slowly taking over Arthur's face. It had passed stubble two weeks ago and was now a full fledged beard. </p><p>In many (many many) ways, Merlin would miss the beard. He'd had numerous fantasies about beard burn and how it would feel to kiss Arthur's mouth and how it would feel against his- </p><p>Merlin let out a noisy breath as Arthur grumpily took a seat. He had applied the foam and was now getting ready to shave him. Arthur was watching him with wary eyes. Merlin wasn't sure how to go about it, he would have to awkwardly bend to be at the correct height. </p><p>Merlin stood close and with steady motions dragged the blade over Arthur's face. He focused his eyes on Arthur's beard, knowing that if he looked at Arthur's eyes or mouth he'd get distracted and make a mistake. </p><p>Merlin yearned to put his hands in Arthur's hair, he wanted so badly he devised a plan to do it and if Arthur asked he'd say it was to steady himself. He decided against it in the end, worried it would startle Arthur and cause the blade to cut his face. </p><p>Arthur's breaths had deepened during Merlin's ministrations, his eyes had darkened. Merlin assumed it was due to the low light, Merlin was stood blocking the candlelight. </p><p>He changed position to stand behind the chair, the wooden back of the chair facing his front and Arthur looking ahead at the fireplace. He lifted his hand to tilt Arthur's chin up, Arthur took a sudden breath then closed his eyes as Merlin continued shaving him. They were close enough that Merlin could see his own breath stirring Arthur's hair. It was very distracting. </p><p>Arthur was trying to hold still but he was fidgeting with something. Merlin finished the stroke he was on then cleaned the blade. </p><p>"Arthur you have to sit still." He sighed. It made Arthur shuffle in his seat, he looked a little red. </p><p>"Are you alright?" Merlin asked, turning to him with concern.</p><p>He nodded. "Yes. I'm fine. Carry on." He insisted, a little breathless. </p><p>Merlin did as he was told and was very gentle as he angled Arthur's head. His hand brushed Arthur's hair out of the way and cupped his head to get the stubble underneath his jawline. Arthur inhaled sharply and shifted a little towards Merlin's hand. </p><p>Merlin yanked the blade away and shouted. "Arthur!" </p><p>Arthur listed to the other side and muttered a string of apologies. </p><p>"Maybe-" Arthur's voice was tight. "Maybe we should do this later." </p><p>Merlin looked incredulous. "Arthur you can't go to the meeting with only half a beard. It won't take long, you just have to sit still." </p><p>Arthur flushed and leaned back in the chair. Merlin was careful but shaved Arthur with more hurry. Merlin was slightly annoyed at Arthur, Merlin had been enjoying the intimacy of the moment, the enclosed atmosphere with the candle light. </p><p>After the shave was finished, Arthur said he was going to retire to bed. </p><p>"What about the meeting? Are you sure you're feeling alright? I can fetch Gaius-" </p><p>"No!" Arthur cleared his throat. "No. I'm perfectly alright. Thank you. I'm just tired. Goodnight Merlin." He dismissed him. </p><p>Feeling a little rejected, Merlin left. That night in his cot his fantasies were mingled with questions. He tried hard to set them them aside, reviewing the images of his hand cupping Arthur's chin and tilting his head. He closed his eyes and dreamed.</p><p> </p><p>3</p><p>Arthur had been stood by his dresser for over five minutes, clearly too busy contemplating something to remember what he was doing. He was already dressed, he must've opened the dresser unconsciously. </p><p>Merlin watched as Arthur slowly closed it and came to stand near Merlin. </p><p>"Is something on your mind?" Merlin asked. </p><p>Arthur took a moment to respond. </p><p>"Do you think I should cut my hair?" He asked. </p><p>Merlin used the question as an excuse to shove his hand through it. "No." He breathed. </p><p>Merlin blinked and smoothed it down before stepping away. "I think it looks fine." </p><p>Arthur took a shaky breath and covered it with a loud exhale. Merlin didn't notice. He was too busy extracting the memory of his hand in Arthur's hair, preserving it to use later. </p><p>"Well, as long as I look agreeable." </p><p>"From the way Lady Belmont was eyeing you..." Merlin grinned, eyebrows raised.</p><p>"Very funny Merlin. Now hurry up, I can't be late." </p><p>Merlin stood by Arthur's side as he presided over the villagers and answered nobles queries. Merlin spent the whole time staring at the back of Arthur's head, switching to watch him from the corner of his eye.</p><p>Arthur looked more regal than usual. His back was straight and his hair fluffy, it sprang up a little. Merlin's hands twitched. He could imagine, with perfect clarity, his fingers running through it. He could imagine just the two of them on a picnic, Arthur resting his head in Merlin's lap as Merlin stroked his hair. </p><p>He could imagine them discussing solutions to the grain problem, Arthur's head bent like a saint, his hair dangling in front of him as he leaned across the table to point at some parchment. He could imagine just the two of them in Arthur's room, his hands pulling at Arthur's long hair as he knelt before Merlin, mouth a glistening, expectant oval. </p><p>"Merlin." Arthur repeated, his tone impatient and implying that this wasn't the first time he'd called his name. Merlin hoped he wasn't blushing.</p><p>"Yes sire?" </p><p>"You didn't hear a single thing I said did you." It wasn't a question. </p><p>Arthur sighed. </p><p> </p><p>4 </p><p>Merlin hated baths. Well, he didn't hate having them but he hated when Arthur did. It tested his endurance and his restraint, stretching it so thin that Merlin knew that someday he would snap. He would just reach out and tug Arthur by his hair and smash their lips together and he knew that when this moment happened, when they're friendship irrevocably ruined, it would be because Arthur was in the bath. </p><p>Since Arthur's hair had grown, Arthur should really look like a drowned rat but he didn't- God he really didn't. He was sleek and broad, golden and tanned, his long hair was wet, his chest was naked-</p><p>Merlin dug his nails into his palm. He loitered by the screen, fussing with the clothes and hiding from Arthur. If he stayed behind the screen he wouldn't look. He wouldn't. </p><p>He looked. </p><p>Arthur has just risen from the bath, surging up and dragging his hands over his face and his hair. His long hair was slicked back and water darkened. Droplets cascaded down and clung to his lips and his eyelashes. His lean chest was wet, skin looked slippery and Merlin took a sharp inhale then pinched his skin too hard. He yelped.</p><p>Arthur startled. "Merlin?" </p><p>Merlin appeared from behind the screen and gave a strained smile.</p><p>Arthur frowned. "Are you okay?" </p><p>"Fine." His voice was too high and Arthur gave him a concerned look. "Fine." He repeated, a tad lower this time. </p><p>Arthur went back to washing himself, scrubbing across his chest. Steam tendrils rose and curled into the air. Merlin wavered forward, desire driving his footsteps before he realised what he was doing and snapped back around to walk the other way. </p><p>"Merlin." Arthur called. </p><p>Merlin stumbled to turn back to him. "Yes?" </p><p>"Wash my back." He held out the sponge to Merlin, not caring that it dripped on the floor. </p><p>"Yes." Merlin practically fell to the floor by the bath. </p><p>"Are you sure you're alright?" </p><p>"Oh. I'm fine, brilliant even." He grabbed the sponge and, in his attempts to distract his mind from slipping into the thoughts they always did when he was near Arthur, scrubbed extra hard. </p><p>He'd been so focused on Arthur's back that he missed Arthur's winces and his gritted teeth until Arthur's patience snapped. "Merlin!" </p><p>He stopped. </p><p>"It's my back, not the kitchen floor." He commented and took the sponge back off him. Merlin coloured and muttered, retreating back to his spot by the screen. </p><p>He waited for Arthur to get out, allowing himself one glimpse- just one, a long one mind you, as Arthur clambered out, body on full display. </p><p>Merlin handed him a towel to dry himself. He averted his eyes and scampered away until Arthur was fully dressed. It was a relief to see Arthur in clothes again but also a disappointment. </p><p> </p><p>5 </p><p>"W-Whats that?" Merlin asked, eyes transfixed on the tiny plait in Arthur's hair. </p><p>Arthur reached up to touch it and turned bashful. "Oh. One of the kids from the lower town asked to touch my hair. They put a plait in it." </p><p>"Why did you say yes?" Merlin's tone was sharp and he tried to swallow it down. To be envious of a child was silly.</p><p>Arthur shrugged. His fingers were playing with the plait and a small smile was on his face. </p><p>Merlin stared, unblinking as Arthur moved about the room. </p><p>"Look if it bothers you that much I can undo it." Arthur said, aware of Merlin's gaze. </p><p>"Huh?" Merlin's tongue felt tied. "No. It's cute." </p><p>"Cute?" Arthur repeated. "It is not <em>cute</em>. It is manly and warrior like." </p><p>Merlin hummed. "If you say so sire." </p><p>Arthur threw him a look. "You're just jealous." </p><p>Merlin's blood ran cold. His veins were ice his heart stuttered to a halt, freezing right in his chest. </p><p>Arthur's eyes widened. "Good God, Merlin, you've gone pale as milk. Here, sit down." He directed Merlin into a chair. </p><p>"I was just joking. I know you aren't jealous. If you really want I'm sure we can find another servant who will plait your hair. It's just about long enough to plait, you've been growing it out. Never original, are you Merlin? I have noticed more long haired men in Camelot. I'm a trend setter." Merlin didn't respond.</p><p>"Merlin." Arthur put a hand on his shoulder. Merlin looked at him, at the plait, at his blue eyes, at his mouth. His breathing slowed, he calmed. </p><p>He pushed Arthur's hand off him, his own fingers lingering for a second as he brushed him off. "I'm okay." He said quietly. Arthur still seemed uneasy. </p><p>Merlin tried to muster a joke, attempting for joviality as his heartbeats caught up. "I wanted long hair far before you had it, Pendragon. My hair is just slow growing." </p><p>Arthur grinned. "Yeah right." </p><p> </p><p>+1 </p><p>Merlin had been permitted to visit his mother in Elador to celebrate Yultide and as soon as he'd left- merry as he'd been to see Merlin so chipper, lonliness had enveloped Arthur like an old friend. He always knew his affection for Merlin went beyond friendship but his feelings had been dampened by his sudden and substantial losses. They flooded back full strength at Merlin's absence. </p><p>Merlin was only expected to be gone for three days however he was still yet to return when the fourth day dawned. After a considerable panic, a letter showed up in Merlin's place explaining that Elador had unexpectedly got a severe amount of snow that left Merlin stranded for an unprecedented amount of time. </p><p>Arthur had felt dejected after the news. He even turned to Gwaine to keep him entertained in the evenings, though it more often than not made Arthur miss Merlin more, the drink Gwaine supplied to him in abundance had left him drained and more miserable than he'd been before.</p><p>Arthur had sobered and wisened to spending his time with Gwaine, he instead settled on resolving issues with the boroughs and delved into fixing as many of Camelot's problems as he could. He would chat with his knights and train in every other moment but still the days dragged. </p><p>It had been a week by the time Merlin returned and his arrival caused quite a stir- Merlin looked more mature, handsomer, despite having only been gone for seven days. His sharp jawline had been covered by a dappling of stubble- enough to cause a shadow on his face visible even from where Arthur stood. Arthur was stuck, mouth agape.</p><p>Merlin was good usual self, smiling and cheerful. He grinned at Arthur and waved from across the courtyard. </p><p>He received the usual rounds of greeting and pleasantries from the knights as they welcomed him back before he had to return to his duties. A few comments were made on his beard- <em>"Didn't know you had it in you." "You were only gone a week, look at it!" "It suits you."</em></p><p>Merlin bounded up the steps to Arthur who was still stood, frozen, as he had been when Merlin rode in.</p><p>"Arthur?" Merlin smiled, waving a hand in front of Arthur's eyes. "Are you alright? You look like you've swallowed your own tongue." </p><p>Arthur blinked. "Uh- no. I'm fine. How was Hunith?" </p><p>Merlin brightened at the mention of his mother, eyes lighting in a way that Arthur found irresistible. Arthur tamped down the ferocious urge to kiss him and struggled to focus on what Merlin was saying. </p><p>"I'm glad." Arthur said. Merlin beamed. </p><p>Arthur took slow breaths and stole glances at Merlin as Merlin talked and talked on their way up to Arthur's room.</p><p>He had been taking about how for all his mother's brilliance, nothing could beat Cook's meals. He then moved on to think of all the things he could have from the kitchens if he were sneaky enough.</p><p>Merlin rubbed a hand over his chin, finger tapping his lip as he thought of pies and puddings. Arthur’s eyes dropped down towards his stubble, wanting to feel it against his own skin. Merlin was leant against the table, the back of his legs pressing against the lip of the wood as he considered his choices. His fingers trailed over his mouth.</p><p>Arthur couldn't take it anymore.</p><p>He strode forward, grabbed Merlin's waist and pulled him in for a kiss.</p><p>Merlin made a noise before dissolving into it. </p><p>He threaded his hands through Arthur's long hair, as he'd wanted to for so long. The movement caused him to shift, his stubble scraped against Arthur's cheek and Arthur groaned, pulling Merlin closer as the sensation ricocheted down his body causing him to jerk and shudder, which in turn caused Merlin to tighten his fists in Arthur's hair as Arthur pressed then closer together, the table bit into Merlin's thighs.</p><p>A serving maid heard their groans as she waltzed past the corridor, laundry in hand. She nearly dropped it hearing the indecent noises coming from the kings chambers and hurried off red cheeked and mouth bowed, ready to gossip to whoever she saw. The shared admiration of the king and his servant was well known and many upon hearing the confirmation of the pair swapped coins and laughter at the maids tale.</p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>I was really tempted to call this fic 'Merlin's Beard!' but decided against it</p><p>Not beta'd, sorry if there's any typos</p><p>I imagined Merlin in the +1 bit to look how Colin Morgan does in the living and the dead</p></blockquote></div></div>
</body>
</html>